American Idol 7 Recap May 7, 2008

And then there were 3.

So the night started off on American Idol 7 as it always does; Ryan Seacrest introduced all the judges and when I saw what Paula Abdul was wearing, I threw up a bit in my mouth. It was a hideous black lace, one shoulder fiasco. That alone told me she was drunk before the show even started.

The remaining Idols sang "Reelin' in the Years" which was pretty crusty at best.

Then Ryan started off with the voting results and called out the Monchichi:

David Archuleta - You are safe.

Wow, I'm shocked. After commercial, we were shown the perks of being in the Top 4, as the contestants were flown to Vegas on a private jet where they got to enjoy the idiot fanatics and catch The Beatles Love show, which looked pretty amazing.

Then Seacrest called out David Cook:

David Cook - You are safe.

Again, completely shocked by the news. Ryan called out the final two contestants and then went to commercial but not before he nearly made out with Jason Castro. I KNEW IT!



We returned to a horrible Ford ad in which the contestants were dressed like bullfighters and sang "Ring of Fire." Those pants were waaaaay too tight. It even looked like Syesha Mercado had a penis.

Ryan then took some phone calls and 2 of the 5 callers got sh*t on their noses from putting them so far up Simon Cowell's ass. One said that he ought to be knighted; the other asked why he hasn't played James Bond yet. Perhaps I have it all wrong and it is in fact Ryan who is fearful of getting the axe and is attempting to do his own brownnosing. Good job, chap.

Maroon 5 made a guest appearance and sang "If I Never See Your Face Again" and it was quite obvious that Adam Levine was coked up to the nines when Ryan spoke to him afterwards.

Then Bo Bice performed and yes, he still has that greasy on top, burnt on the bottom hairstyle so I had a hard time paying attention to the actual song.

Finally, it was time to announce who was going home.

Syesha Mercado - You are safe

Jason Castro was kicked off American Idol 7! There is a god. Call your local church.

See ya next week.