Michael Phelps Bong Picture

Now that Michael Phelps won those 8 gold medals at the 2008 Olympics, he can go back to what he doing before that; smoking a boatload of weed through a bong.

News of the World published the unfortunate and very compromising photos of Michael Phelps as he sucks on a bong full of weed and now he's apologizing for it. Of course, we all know that Michael Phelps is only apologizing for getting caught. Ih-dee-ott.

Now Michael Phelps is going to have to apologize over and over again to all the parents who've been trying to get their kids to emulate him because, well, he's just a stoner who is a freak swimmer.

Kim Kardashian @ 6th Annual Leather & Lace Party

Shirtless Celeb of the Day - Orlando Bloom

Ah, Orlando Bloom. He's looking all kinds of sexy on the set of his new movie Sympathy for Delicious. And delicious he sure is.

Orlando Bloom has a few fake tattoos on his body for the sake of the movie I'm guessing. So there he is, looking all hot and stuff, and just strutting around, talking on his cell phone.

Enjoy these wonderful shirtless pictures of Orlando Bloom; or you could just wait for the move to come out.

Jessica Simpson is Still Looking Fat

Jessica Simpson must be loving the publicity, even if the media is sticking her in its fat issues. Jessica Simpson is still looking plump and the outfits that she's choosing are doing nothing to mask the fact that she has plenty of back fat.

Jessica Simpson is singing at yet another chili cook off... or something of the sort, and although she's draped in black, those latex pants only make her thighs look like two single bed mattresses rubbing together.

And even though her sister Ashlee has come to her defense, there's no denying that Jessica Simpson has been spending a little too much time at the buffet table.

Ashley King My Heaven

Ashley King is back with a new single, but this time there's a twist. Ashley King's single "My Heaven" is devoted to helping children in Jamaica and all proceeds of the song will go to helping them get a good education and big themselves up.

Ashley King is the Ambassador to the My Heaven Foundation started by Kevin Allwood, so if you'd like to do what you can to help out, head to MyHeavenFoundation.org and purchase the song for $1. Ashley King's song is worth it; it's a great song. Listen for yourself.

Kim Kardashian @ 2009 Moves Magazine Super Bowl Party

Brad and Elizabeth's Online Breakup Email

Do you remember back in 2005 that there was a breakup email circulating the Net between Elizabeth and Brad? Apparently, Elizabeth had performed oral sex on two different men in a bar bathroom while her boyfriend waited at the bar and was worried about her.

Anyway, she sent him an email asking for forgiveness and boy does he cut her down like nobody's business. Not only does he nail her where it hurts, but he CCs everyone he knows and even people he doesn't know.

Whether or not it's real has yet to be determined (4 years running), but this breakup email is still making the rounds on the Net. Here it is, enjoy:

Brad,

It would be difficult for me to be any more miserable right now, I feel like the worst person ever. First, let me start by saying that I am truly truly sorry, and I hate myself for hurting you. Of all the people in the whole entire world, you were honestly the last person that I would ever want to wrong in any way.

There is no excuse at all for anything that happened, so I won't even try other than to say all of us had WAY too much to drink, and I did a stupid thing. I can handle you being pissed at me, I absolutely deserve it, I can even handle the ugly words that were exchanged between us, what I can't handle is thinking that you see me as a different person.

It is weird, I feel like I just went through a horrible break up or something. The world looked funny yesterday, I couldn't crack a smile if you paid me, there are songs I can't listen to, and I just ! feel beyond crushed. I don't know if you meant everything you said to me, and I am hoping that you didn't. I know that I was wrong on many levels, but I am also hoping that this is something that we can deal with. I know it sounds totally crazy and stupid, but you have come to play such a significant role in my life, I can't imagine my days without you. It is totally strange and weird to say that, and you could say that my behavior didn't reflect that, and you would be correct.

I hate feeling like you hate me, and I hate feeling like all of your friends think I am a terrible person, because I am not. I know there is nothing I can say or do to take back what happened, but I just want you to know that fighting with you was just about the worst thing I could have ever imagined. It was right up there with one of the ugliest nights of my life, and I would give anything in the world to rewind and fix it.

I am not sure if you will respond to this, part of me thinks that you won't. If not today, then maybe some other time. Also, thanks for getting my stuff together, although I think my sunglasses are still at your house, if you could keep your eyes peeled for them that would be great.

I can't even focus or work today, I can't eat, I seriously feel like it was an ugly break up, and I am hoping against hopes that it was not that and you are not done with me. Please don't cut me off, I really don't think I can handle that.I am so sorry.

Elizabeth

----------------------------------------------------------

Dear Elizabeth,

Thank you for your concern. I'll be sure to file it away under "L" for "Long-winded diatribes from drunken whores I couldn't care less about".

You did a stupid thing huh? No...doing long division and forgetting to carry the one is "a stupid thing"; Mixing in a red sock with a load of whites is "a stupid thing"; Blowing some guy in a bathroom for 45 minutes while I sit at the bar wondering if you're taking so long because you ate too much bran that morning isn't as much a "Stupid thing" as it is grounds for permanent removal from my social calendar.

To be honest, I'm not sure if it was more amusing that you went and degraded yourself in a public toilet not once but twice in a 2 hour span, or that you seemed to think that by saying "Well, I didn't F*ck him" somehow gave you a clean slate.

So forgive me if I couldn't care less if the world "looked funny" to you yesterday. Since your world revolves around blow dryers, golden retrievers, Prada Bags and Jelly Beans. I'm sure it must have been most unsettling to actually have to consider someone else's feelings for 24 hours straight.

The good news for you is that my friends don't think you're a terrible person, they just think you're the average run of the mill cum-guzzling blond who commands about as much respect as your average child porn collector. I could be wrong but, it's pretty hard to respect some B&T chick who comes out to spend the night at my place even though she's seeing someone else in New jersey and winds up tongue-bathing the taint of anyone who decides 30 minutes of droning commentary on Colin Farrell's new haircut is worth putting up with for a hand job in the men's room.

The good thing about being a guy is that when I eventually bump into the young lad who finger-blasted you on top of a towel dispenser last saturday, we'll have a shot and laugh our asses off about the time it happened.

By the way, for the amount of time you claim to spend in spin class you really must be doing something wrong to sport the thunder thighs you do. Watching you parade around my bedroom in a thong was a little like watching sea lions mate. Thought you might like to know.

PS. I BCC'd about 100 people on this email.

Talk to you never,

Brad

Elisabeth Hasselbeck is Pregnant with her 3rd Child

Elisabeth Hasselbeck is pregnant with her third child and she made the announcement this morning on The View. That's great, just what we need; another Republican with skewed views.

Anyway, Elisabeth Hasselbeck was saying that she was having a hard time getting pregnant this time around and had been trying for a while. She found out last month that she was indeed pregnant and is "over the moon" about it. Yes, over the freakin' moon.

Scarlett Johansson Sings Last Goodbye

Scarlett Johansson isn't the greatest singer on earth, but I have to admit that I like this version of Jeff Buckley's "Last Goodbye". It sounds nothing like Scarlett Johansson to me, but it sounds beautiful and I bet it will end up on Grey's Anatomy very soon.

Scarlett Johansson is a phenomenal actress, and perhaps she will one day be recognized as a great singer too, but for now, it seems that she doesn't have that many fans of her singing.

Check out Scarlett Johansson's version of "Last Goodbye" and then listen to Jeff Buckley's original version.

Jennifer Aniston Rejects Playboy

Wow. Jennifer Aniston, who recently appeared virtually nude on the cover of GQ, has rejected a $4 million offer with a $10 million bonus for high sales to pose nude in Playboy.

I'm guessing that Jennifer Aniston must be bathing in cash to turn such an offer down. But then, perhaps Jennifer Aniston doesn't want to do anything that might make Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie frown at her.

Jennifer Aniston would probably sell a hell of a lot of Playboy magazines, but I'm betting that it's the chicks who'd pick up Playboy more so than guys. For some reason, women are obsessed with Jennifer Aniston.

Britney Spears Looks Fit, Wants K-Fed Back

Britney Spears is back to its pre-children and Cheetos self. Britney Spears has been working hard for her upcoming tour but is having a hard time dealing with the welfare case that her ex-husband Kevin Federline is dating.

Apparently, Britney Spears thought the two might reconcile after going to a couple of counseling sessions, but the only reason Kevin Federline agreed was so that the two could be more civil when it came to the children.

Britney Spears is looking hot so hopefully she'll move on and may even meet a nice fella... or two.

Kim Kardashian Getting Her Nails Done

NBC Bans Super Bowl PETA Ad

PETA is a running joke in my circle because they protest the stupidest thing and seem so hellbent on making a splash in the media that they sometimes fail to adhere to their initial purpose.

Nevertheless, in its reign as the world's most well-known animal rights activists, PETA launched an ad campaign that is essentially veggie porn and, as you can imagine, NBC is nixing the ad for myriad reasons, the top of which is "asparagus on her lap appearing as if it is ready to be inserted into vagina." Wow, I never thought I'd here "asparagus" and "vagina" uttered in the same sentence.

And I'm pretty sure that after nipplegate, the world just isn't ready for anything even remotely sexual during the Super Bowl.

Here's the PETA ad anyway, because I love nothing more than a scandalous commercial that involves sexy women and cruciferous veggies.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's Twins Spotted

Ah, here they are! Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt finally stepped out with the highly coveted twins and the world stares on in disbelief. Yes, they are perfect and they look like Shiloh.

Angelina Jolie had Vivienne strapped to her body and Brad Pitt had Knox strapped to his body. And of course, they all looked like the perfect, happy family.

Colin Farrell and Salma Hayek are Dating

It sounds pretty unbelievable to me, but word has it that Salma Hayek and Colin Farrell are dating. Yes, it's true. And not just dating, they're actually kissing and everything.

Salma Hayek and Colin Farrell were spotted backstage at the SAG Awards doing nasty things like cuddling, hugging and kissing, and they didn't care who saw them.

So what do you think about this new couple? Is it a match made in heaven or is Salma Hayek simply Colin Farrell's new Jack Daniel's?

John Mayer Inspirational Video

John Mayer has made the mistake of making a video for TMZ in which he gives himself a pep talk. What makes it a mistake is that he's probably still banging Jennifer Aniston and when she gets wind of the fact that he makes a Benjamin Button reference, she's going to be pee-issed.

John Mayer habitually goes to TMZ with some funny stuff but this inspirational video was neither funny nor inspirational; it was essentially John Mayer needing some media attention again and getting it without talking about Jennifer Aniston.

And if they aren't over yet, you can bet that Jennifer Aniston is going to give John Mayer his walking papers yet again.

Jessica Simpson is Gaining Weight

It's not bad enough that Jessica Simpson is wearing mom jeans and has arms that look like they wiggle back and forth if she claps her hands; but Jessica Simpson looks like she's one donut away from heading to Celebrity Fit Club.

Jessica Simpson must have stepped away from her Daisy Duke workout routine because she's looking roly poly at best. I get that she's trying to go country, but that doesn't mean that she has to ingest it.

What do you think of Jessica Simpson's more rubenesque shape? Does it suit her? Does the camera add 10 pounds? Did she eat the camera?

Was Diane Sawyer Drunk?

Diane Sawyer was definitely on something during her cover of the inauguration on January 21, 2009, and although she's usually the face of composure, it seems that Diane Sawyer was heavy on the sauce.

Laughing, slurring and in a general state of confusion, Diane Sawyer seemed to really let loose.

What do you think, was Diane Sawyer drunk?

Thrillseekers 3: Best Live DJs

Although DJs may not bust out crazy choreographies like Justin Timberlake, or hit the high notes like Christina Aguilera, and they may not change outfits 11 times during a 3-hour stint, but anyone can tell you that watching a great DJ in his element will get under your skin and have you dancing the night away.

It also doesn’t hurt that most DJs are pretty sweet to look at, and these 3 particular DJs, which includes one duo, are musical masterminds when it comes to remixes and blending patterns.

And even if you’re unable to head to one of their concerts anytime soon, you should at least invest in their music.

Best live DJs #1
DJ Tiesto
The fact alone that he sold out a stadium that fills 25,000 should be indication enough that DJ Tiesto is doing something right at the turntables. Somewhat of a hero in his native Holland, Tiesto has traveled the world, from Italy and Russia to Scotland and Serbia, and is always picking up new and innovative ways to mix music. His remix of “Delerium featuring Sarah McLachlan – Silence” was the first house music track to get regular airplay on the radio.

Details:
Tour information: Tiesto.com
Official website: Tiesto.com
Best album: In Search Of Sunrise
Best song: Honey (Chicane Club Mix)


Best live DJs #2
Deep Dish
Grammy award winners, this duo of DJs - Ali 'Dubfire' Shirazinia and Sharam Tayebi – hail from Washington DC, but have managed to become world famous in only a few years’ time. Their constant hard work and musical efforts have paid off, especially considering they have been called upon to remix music by everyone from Michael Jackson to Madonna. Their ability to seduce a crowd’s ear and hearts with their mixes is incomparable.

Details:
Tour information: DeepDish.com

Official website: DeepDish.com
Best album: Global Underground: Toronto
Best song: Only Your Love (Holme Ives Remix)


Best live DJs #3
Paul van Dyk
Hailing from East Germany, Paul van Dyk is one of the world’s most renowned DJs, and by the early ‘90s, he had already managed to make quite a name for himself, although his first album, 45 RPM, wasn’t released until 1998. Unhappy with the way record labels worked, Van Dyk opted to create his very own label, Vandit, which has garnered him even more success than he has ever imagined.

Details:
Tour information: Ents24.com

Official website: PaulVanDyk.com
Best album: Reflections
Best song: Crush

Kim Kardashian Out On Robertson Blvd.